PHLOIDE.COM AND THE MICRONAUTS: And Now to Sum Things Completely Different

Phloide.com and the Micronauts

And Now to Sum Things Completely Different

© 2006 Phloide.com (634479409011)

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Cheesy 90s electronic rock meets 80s new wave…

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---review------
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"Now to Sum Things" released in 2006 is the second album from the Phloide.com project, featuring a generally similar (but perhaps a bit edgier) sound compared to its predecessor 2002 Album "Deception" made by "Phloide.com and the Garden Gnome Liberation Front". On Phloide's "Now to Sum Things", some songs such as "Danny's Magic Cellphone", "Ride of a lifetime"" and "Yertle and Bartholomew" definitely lean towards the edgy hard driving industrial rock end of the musical spectrum. Others such as "Zillion Faces", "Pint of Dark Matter", and "Sum of All Things" feature more of a melancholy gothic sound. Other Tracks such as "Schrödinger’s Kitty", "Ahab's Bee of Death", "The Great Opaque Divide" and instrumentals "Dancing upon the Ephemeron" and "Cheese" feature a diverse mix of edgy alternative rock beats, distorted guitar and bass sounds, and dark or sometimes whimsical sounding synthesizer melody lines. "Birdies Bouncing Off Windows" is quite humorous and deeply melancholy and though provoking all at the same time. All songs feature a very distinctive sounding electronically processed vocal delivery which blends in well with the mood of the songs, and adds to the album's edgy and unique alternative/industrial musical appeal...

The written content of the songs is perhaps the most amazing aspect of Phloide's "Now for Sum Thing" album and is persistently humorous and deeply thought provoking throughout. If you are a fan of British Humor, Dr. Seuss, or nursery rhymes (or all of the above) you are really in for a treat as the writing of the songs is riddled with humorous references to the likes of Monty Python, Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy, Spinal Tap, Yertle the turtle, Fox in Socks, Horton the Who, Peter Rabbit, the Cheshire Cat, Charlotte’s web, Mother Goose, Goldilocks, and even H.R. Pufnstuf. I can also detect some subtle tips of the hat to great classical rock musicians such as Pink Floyd, the Eagles, Jimmi Hendrix and Rush. The lyric sheet is quite extensive and thorough with the lyrical imagery delivered in mostly a poetic or metaphorical style. The written content of the deeply thought out song lyrics are guaranteed to tickle your brain and challenge your thoughts in the subjects of the validity of the theory of evolution and some aspects of quantum physics, mankind's treatment of his fellow man, and the significance of One's life and search for meaning in God's Creation and Universe. At least these are some of my interpretations so far of the album's lyrical content and deep meanings, and you are likely to come away with your own unique interpretations of the meanings of the songs as you embark upon the adventure of exploring this great album.

In conclusion, Phloide.com and the Micronauts "And now to Sum Things Completely Different" is a brilliantly written collection of skillfully crafted fresh and innovative underground rock sounds that is sure to appeal to fans of Industrial, Gothic, and Alternative Rock alike.

RivotRich.7
http://www.myspace.com/rivot_rich7

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JJ

1) Zillion Faces
I hears a zillion voices crying out for meaning
and I swears they sounds a lot like me
I sees a zillion faces that yearn for the notion of being and I swears they looks a lot like me

2) I Went on a Ride
I went on a ride In the great space coaster
With Tinky Winky And his brave little toaster.
He said No it don’t cook the custard even
But while others go to 10 This one goes to 11

We went to the restaurant
At the end of the universe
and he read to me from the reading rainbow connection
Verse by verse by verse

What’s your Name
What’s your quest
What’s your favorite color
come and take a look into my magic mirror
You can stay if you brought your towel
But please don’t call me Barney

Strange is our Situation here upon the earth
Stranger still the longing of our soul
Better to light a candle than to curse the darkness
Yet we all want someone to say well done.

I went to a BBQ and what did I see
HR Pufnstuff coming after me
He said we have an interview with the new zoo review
With Dr. Horton the Who, Winnie the Pooh, and The Buggaloos

There is no reason to get excited, HR kindly spoke
There are many among us Who think life is but a syndicated show

What’s your Name
What’s your quest
What’s your favorite color
come and take a look into my magic mirror
You can stay if you brought your towel
But please don’t call me Barney

Strange is our Situation here upon the earth
Stranger still the longing of our soul
Better to light a candle than to curse the darkness
Yet we all want someone to say well done.

So I said to the Captain Please bring me my Chocolate
Dan said we haven’t had that Box here Since Frank Farion forgot my number

When I close my eyes at the end of the session
Will the answer be forty-two guess it pends on the question.

3) Danny’s Magick Cellphone
Wouldn’t it be neat if the moon was made of green cheese
And the earth was a bagel
Then God could have breakfast on the way to work
And heat His coffee on the sun

Oh Danny boy the pipes are calling
From glen to mountain side
its been a thousand two hundred and ninety days
and your dinosaurs have all died

Life was so much simpler
before we killed the man on the moon
the pleasures of life much sweeter
before the plate divorced the spoon

Put down your cell phone
Put on your shades
Roll down your window
Take a look around before the ambiance fades

one thousand three hundred and thirty five days
since we drank to our surmise
I still can’t read the Writing on the wall
must be the clouds in my eyes

We have slaughtered all the unicorns
and caged up all the dragons
is there anyone remaining who'll have a drink
with me and Bilbo Baggins

Put on your big hat
put down your PDA
time is sipping cider from an hour glass
as Lucy’s selling wisdom for the price of lemonade

As Danny’s dinosaur takes a bow
before he slips into his enclave
now just a star in the face of the sky
no time to see him wave

when swimming in the tapestry
of a rich man’s kingdom
never forget the simple smile
of a clown who loves to dance

put on your trench coat
Put away your aftershave
don’t forget your goulashes
come and join the masquerade as we serenade home

jump back patty whack
give a Danny his bone
and when this mortal flesh shall fail
I will leave a light on

4) Birdies Bouncing Off Windows
I see birdies bouncing off windows
Simply because they don’t believe they are there
There are no second chances
Their bodies are broken by the choices they have made

And goliath comes,
and he swallows them down and he smiles
Cuz you know he thinks it’s a game,
doggy snacks from heaven

And fate laughs
as she lays down her final hand
And we turn our heads as we wonder
if the gamble was worth the price we paid

5) Cheese
-with apologies to Dave Matthews
There are hundreds of thousands of things you can eat that are not cheese

6) Yertle & Batholomew
Yertle and Bartholomew
sitting with in the vestibule
searching for exotic tools
to computate the Golden rule

If Bartholomew had 500 hats
He would want 500 more
his cracked emphatic intellect
cannot keep objective score

He would not clock it in a box
he could not with a fox in socks
it’s safe behind his mental blocks
locked his rocks from Goldilox

fixation stirred
with whey and curds
is symbiosis
with social thrombosis

his pretense
builds his defense
rational internal splicing
spoils our fare with over-spicing

don’t let our need for reason
blemish the dance
don’t let our want for bits & portion
taint the romance

Yertle says that what I do
the limbic system tells me to
I’ve drank the wishy-washy brew
and never tasted anything new

Over the hill and through the woods
the wolf is surely waiting
dilapidated vigor the caveat
yertle van turtle still wants to be king

Synchronic allure
cannot confer
his pending diagnosis
of his apotheosis,

he gathers reference
without preference
incoherent cognant pricing
taste it once again this time with icing

don’t let our need for reason
blemish the dance
don’t let our want for bits and portion
taint the romance

bitter tasting weed and brine
oft mistaken for bread and wine
from the start to finish line
we are more than our design

7) Schrödinger’s Kitty (Strings)
This is my corrugated ditty
about a pitiable little kitty
Dissipating in a chromodynamic shroud

when along came a spider
upon the supercollider
to derail his fractal cloud

she said my name is charlotte
as she weaves her scarlet
I have come to entwine your reactor

he said kitties like me need no name
we have no claim to fame
but my imaginary friends like to call me factor

web-weaver web weaver weave me a web
where love and suffering and visions wed
Where wind and soil share the wine and the bread
where father time has his fortune read

I have sipped from the chalice
Threaded yarn through the palace
acquire designed, of life defined,
watching time cast silhouettes

I have treaded down the random walk
twist the hands of the clock
bake a mistake, my cake to partake,
I still have my XFL season tickets

She listens to the tune
that gently fumes
from the strings of factor’s fiddle

with a song no one wrote
he misses not one note
not one yod or one tittle

she told of her bought with the water spout
and the clout that washed her spirit out
how all the kings men and all the kings horses
could not dry her doubt

but the sun did return
between the drenched and the burn
she found a route through the drought,
her serenity to yearn

my children dropped their guitars,
& return to mars
to discover their worth in vittles

Now they talk about mom’s piggy,
and their old friend Ziggy
watching battlefield earth and eating skittles

they step into the room
weave the strings upon the loom
making garments to embellish their attire

as the strings become the noose
that asphyxiate the truths
They have basted upon the fire

Tachyons dance
in this hyper luminal romance
with a hey diddle diddle, we fade from the middle of the spindle

The strings vigorously unwind
as he smiles at his Cheshire design
the line between the bronze and the brittle

the kitty in his cradle
spins his fractured dreidel
trying to win another silver spoon

just a loan from the unknown
what’s intricately been sewn
between splendid, extraordinary and Picayune

yet the resolutions we swallow
are like the intuitions we borrow
no one can taste our curds and whey

through all said and done
we dance upon the ephemeron
and feast from a tailored buffet

web weaver web weaver spin me my fate
the late cant implicate, nor detractors debate
estate calls to estate, and time wont wait at the gate
there are plates I’d rather not ornate

8) Pint of Dark matter
Crack the quasar over the skillet
scramble it up with some eggs and wine
Take a pint or two of dark matter
season it with rosemary sage and Thyme

the handmaids have offered us a piece of bread

are we nothing further than transmographied stardust
simple amalgamations of lime soda and floor crust

are we strange and are we charmed
have we abandoned the haven of old McDonalds farm
nothing more than supplementary quirks in space time
progressive impediments of intention and rhyme

the handmaids have offered us a cup of wine

are we nothing further than transmographied stardust
simple amalgamations of lime soda and floor crust

9) Ahab’s Bee of Death
yesterday I got stung to death
by an itty bitty bee
and it hurt oh so bad
made me sad,
why oh why,
made me cry
I don’t wanna wanna die

hurt so bad
made me sad
no, not glad
made me mad

then it stung me to death again
but it didn’t hurt
quite as bad, but it still
made me cry
why o why
all the pain
in my brain
falls like rain
leaves a stain
from the strain

hurt so bad
still kinda sad
still not glad
made me mad

Ahab calls us to join him
to slay the mighty beast
but in our lust for revenge
we soon become the feast

Then it stung me to death again
for a third time
feeling kinda numb, feeling fine and appeased
the touch of the bees
its my thing
the caress of the sting
bees my friend
don’t wanna end

don’t hurt so bad,
kinda glad
I like being sad
I enjoy being mad

Then with one
one more sting
I couldn’t live
without the zesty sting
oh the joy
the sting brings
numb the pain
what shall I ever gain
from the stain
in my brain

it don’t hurt at all
like shopping at the mall
the writings on the wall
I’ve become so small

What do we gain
when Cain offers grain
upon the alter of
distain and despair,
our rage cannot repair
the shoes we wear

Ahab calls us to join him
to slay the mighty beast
but in our lust for revenge
we soon become the feast

10) Dancing upon the Ephemeron

11) The Great Opaque divide
Betty Jo Jingle and Bobby Jangle
come from the world at a different angle
and found themselves in forbidden romance
in a land where Razzleflabbenz never dare to dance

Betty’s hair was fuchsia
Bobby’s hair was chartreuse
Betty’s tail was acute
Bobby’s tail was obtuse

For the field of Loshon Hora
an orthogonal wall grew between the shades
myths and legends brewed the stew
lost in analysis, brotherhood unglued

Betty Jo cried “If we left all the primary colors pure
never have all the beautiful shades of fur
let the Shades of fur start to blur
I must confer, to be assure”

Bobby replied “Then fill up the glasses as quick as you can,
And sprinkle the table with buttons and bran
And this same hair that smiles today
tomorrow I’ll be dyeing. “

for Bobby and Betty Jo’s love implied
the disengagement of the opaque divide
maybe somewhere they forgot to give ponderance
why it had to be this way

There is unrest in the meadow
There is trouble the in glade
we could become equal
with trimmer, sheers, and blade

Would noone truly hate
if we all epilate
or would this end in futility
until we learn to accept the potpourri

we don’t need pathogenic ocular dissonance
we don’t need to abandon our inheritance
we just need to learn to dance
and stop romancing irrelevance

They, hand in hand,
with wandering steps and slow,
Search for the where the sidewalk ends
and where the Giving Tree grows

And while all is said and done
let us unspin walls undone
and let the path be run
run with unity love and absolution

12) Sum of All Things
It was mid Octember when we got the news
it was late Febrilary when it came to pass
now the first of Janutober
and still many questions unasked

Old Saint Nick sips his last coke
silly Samhain tells his final joke
and peter rabbit has gone his way to greener fields

Some come to unremember
Some come to unregret
here at the House mother goose has built
Danny’s dinosaur finally has come home

folly once scorned
over popcorn
as we charade across the stage

now we take a bow
as we are known as we are now
here at the sum of all things

SDG

De Colores, Table Of Paul, SWVA #15

reviews

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  • one really strange time-warp
    author: GothDad

    Interestingly bizarre--and I mean that in a good way! I keep thinking a modern update on the Rocky Horror Picture Show, musically speaking. Those are some Frank-n-Furter vocals, for sure...

  • the future has already past...you've just miss the buss
    author: Dr Hampton J Piltdown, DDS of Peking, Nebraska

    This music will surely lead us to the next evolutionary step...read, listen, and understand...

  • Frank Zappa and The Beatles
    author: Aaron Cavanaugh of Christianradio.me.uk

    Hi all, You should really get this CD...It sounds like a cross between Frank Zappa and The Beatles "A magical mystery tour" CD.

  • soo much depth to these songs!
    author: rich7

    Phloide.com is so Amazing sounding! There is soo much depth to these songs....... a wonderful instrumental mix, wonderful vocal processing and outstanding songwriting. Reminds me a little of scaterd few and Devo. I love the Monty Python and Dr. Seuss references too!

  • oH my Goodness, this hurt my brain!
    author: David Manning

    As most of you know, I don't exist. But what most of you don't realize is that neither do you! That's what makes this album so incredible! It is cryptic and yet in a strange way makes a lot of sense. It may not hit you the first time you hear it, but after a while it begins to burrow its way into your head.

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